How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
