I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
