I am puke
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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