my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
