If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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