I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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