I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
