he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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