eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
