I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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