How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
