apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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