a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
