Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
