I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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