Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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