How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
