they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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