I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
