The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
