Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
