its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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