And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I could fuck to npr.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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