I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
