Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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