I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
