I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize