I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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