PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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