this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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