It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
