haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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