she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
