Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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