Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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