gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
