They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
