Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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