the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
