Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
