Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
