I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
