I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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