Apparently you make a good broom.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
