im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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