After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We left the knife in your bed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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