just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
