WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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