walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
