My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So much rum. So many feels.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
