We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
