Walk of Shame today included voting.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
