tell your sister to shave her snatch
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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