I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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