Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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