Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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