whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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