Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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