just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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