# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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