I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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