Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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