is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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