Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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