Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
