honey bunches of taint.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
