Moan for me like Helen Keller
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
are you so shy because you have an std?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
