I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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